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Wow, This is a great question.
Short answer is: Schedule an appointment with the Social Security Administration office in your area and go speak with them in person.
The “What I know” answer: SSA provides married benefits to spouses to draw retirement benefits once you have been married for more than 10 years. You should qualify to draw a social security benefit on your first husband once he has started his benefits.
For your deceased husband, I am not familiar with how SSA will treat your eligibility for survivor benefits and retirement benefits. I would recommend you meet with SSA in person and ask many questions to gather an understanding of your benefits.
Good Luck!