Ask an Advisor: I’m a single mom, 10 years from retirement. My adult daughter is 28, still living with me, and costing me a lot of money. She always seems to be short on money each month. How can I stop the financial bleeding?

Ask an Advisor: I’m a single mom, 10 years from retirement. My adult daughter is 28, still living with me, and costing me a lot of money. She always seems to be short on money each month. How can I stop the financial bleeding?

Dear Single Mom,

As you approach retirement, it is time to turn your focus from supporting both yourself and your daughter to preparing only to support yourself. Soon, you will be without a paycheck! 

Once you are on a fixed income, you may not have the resources to keep doling out dollars to your daughter. Now is the time to make a change that can benefit you both. Help her help herself.  

As your daughter gains respect and understanding of her finances, she will be better positioned to take care of herself in the future. Consider this: she needs to gain financial independence so she is properly prepared if something were to happen to you. How would she manage if you didn’t set her on the right path today?

What are your first steps in providing guidance? Think of flight attendants reminding passengers before each flight to put on their face masks first and then help others.  

As you approach retirement, you need to focus on your financial well-being. Your daughter will have many working years ahead of her to learn and grow in her financial knowledge. 

Help yourself first. Make sure you are on track with your budgeting. Have clarity of your income and expenses. Only then can you determine if you can afford to help your daughter financially. 

If you can not afford to assist her with cash gifts, help her with financial knowledge. You don’t need to do this alone. Together, you and your daughter can attend financial workshops, read financial books, and seek the guidance of a Certified Financial Planner™  who will partner with you to inspire and hold you accountable.  

Don’t put your retirement in jeopardy. Help your daughter master her budget and give her the gift of financial well-being. 

If your daughter runs short each month, she may not be budgeting effectively. 

1. Sit down with her and help her establish a budget so she can track her income and spending habits. 
2. Encourage her to save even a small amount of money each month in a high-yield emergency savings fund. An emergency fund is not a luxury wish list fund for additional purchases, but instead, it can be used to mitigate unexpected situations like the loss of a job, car malfunctions, or other events that can rack up a big bill.  
3. Work with her to assess any debt issues and determine a payoff strategy so she can be debt-free. 
4. Help her let go of any “past financial errors”. You can’t fix the past, but you can make positive changes for the future.  

Budgeting is the foundation of financial success and independence. From a solid foundation, your daughter will be able to move forward turning her dreams into goals. With financial clarity, she will have a newfound determination to succeed!  

For more tips, read “When an Adult Child Asks for Money” by Marianne Nolte, CFP®, founder and CEO of Imagine Financial Services.  

The mission of Imagine Financial Services is to provide Financial Clarity, Education, and Peace of Mind for Women. Align your financial resources with what you truly value for yourself and your family. Contact Imagine Financial Services to set a complimentary appointment.  

About the Author

Please note that Wealthtender earns a nominal monthly fee from Marianne in exchange for providing access to the benefits described here, subject to these terms. This compensation creates a natural conflict of interest when we favor promotion of Marianne and other financial advisors in the Wealthtender community over advisors not featured on our platform. Wealthtender is not a client of these advisors or firms.

This article is intended for informational purposes only, and should not be considered financial advice. You should consult a financial professional before making any major financial decisions.

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